Dr. Alpern,  My husband is one of those you discuss that came back from 3 tours of duty in Iraq and Afghanistan a very different person. I love him or loved who he was but now he is so consumed by anger, so rageful that he’s frightening to our children and me. He has not physically acted out yet but his verbal abuse and rages have become terrible to live with.  He refuses treatment and I am very worried that something drastic is going to happen. At this point I doubt if anyone or anything can help but before I try to leave him to rescue my family, which I worry would end up killing him, I thought I’d ask you for any suggestions. I enjoyed your book and even did some of the reading you suggested but I am I’m out of ideas.  

Dr. Alpern. Liz, First of all let me say that leaving your husband Wholesale Elite Jerseys to protect yourself and your children is a very reasonable option.  wholesale nfl jerseys If you feel danger is imminent do not hesitate Hello to take action such as leaving, perhaps temporarily with the promise en to return if he gets and uses help.  You can also seek out local veteran organizations to describe the situation seeking what resources they may suggest or implement. Another masquer route cheap jerseys is for you to seek the counsel of a professional with expertise in treating veterans. There are also ways to gain help for abusive behavior through the police or the many organizations that cheap jerseys deal with abused families. There are restraining Admired orders, involuntary commitment procedures, and a slew of government social agencies devoted to the protection cheap jerseys of children. So, first take protective steps for your children Jerseys and yourself.

I also suggest you may gain some insight into his condition by reading Dr. Howard Lipke’s book, “Don’t I Have the Right To Be Angry. ”  That book offers information on a variety of causes underlying anger. More importantly for your situation he describes his “HEArt” program which includes tools that can be used by or family members dealing with anger.  But again, the most important advice is to protect your children and yourself.

Finally know that anger is frequently the flip side of depression.  That is, angry people are often involved in turning their frustrations outward toward others (anger) rather than toward themselves (depression) which is too painful to bear.  That form of anger is no less dangerous but can be more treatable than angers physiologically based on brain damage effecting impulse control. All this is just to say that dealing effectively with anger requires an understanding of the mechanism, the psychology or physiological source of the anger. It’s sufficiently complicated so that you may fool yourself into thinking you or he understand the source of the anger.  Your description leads me to advise you to get professional help and advice for yourself from mental health or legal, or social agencies.